On The Decline of The Modern Attention Span
Nick Olson
NAKED!
Now that I have your attention, I’d like to address the epidemic that is now plaguing the youth and adults of modern society. Try not to turn to the comics just yet, for this disease may already be affecting you and your loved ones! I realize it may be difficult, nay, impossible, to retain your attention for the span of five hundred words, but here to captivate you are some shocking statistics! According David R. Godine, Inc., only 32% of the U.S. population has ever been inside a bookstore. According to a 2003 article by Publishers Weekly, the average person spends 2.1 hours a month reading. And according to Jerrold Jenkins of the Jenkins Group, 80% of US families did not buy or read a book last year. And while these statistics are probably very skewed and total lies, they did get you past your one-hundredth word. Congratulations!
When I first read these statistics, I first wondered if it had become the case the reading was no longer “cool”. But after some research, it appears many cool people are readers, including Optimus Prime and Batman. Then I considered whether every work of literature ever written was boring and with
out merit. This didn’t seem to be the case either, considering the works of Eric Carle, so I concluded that the epidemic involved the decline of the modern attention span.
WARNING: The following paragraph is excessively boring. Side effects to reading it may include dizziness, nausea, loss of concentration, vomiting, depression, nihilism, and/or death. If you find yourself experiencing any of these symptoms while reading, either stop immediately or imagine Matthew McConaughey reading the passage aloud to you enticingly.
Credible or not, these statistics suggest that reading and the modern attention span have diminished greatly since the 19th century. Not too long ago, Alexandre Dumas, Victor Hugo, or Fyodor Dostoyevsky could captivate a reader for a thousand pages. But the 19th century novel devolved into the 20th century novella. From there came the rise of the graphic novel and the modern magazine. The movie industry reduced the attention span down to two hours, and nowadays, if you read a three-page Time magazine article on an airplane you are an erudite intellectual. In this, the Youtube age of ADD, the modern attention span has limited literature and other media to an aggregate of explosions, sex, torture, and, worst of all, Tom Cruise. Consequently, modern literature, cinema, and other forms of the media have been reduced to the basest of subject matters. But perhaps there is hope. You, the reader, have endured 500 words of excruciating boredom. From there perhaps, you can grow, and one day, restore the literary media to a status from which it can discuss more noble themes that do not involve Garfield the cat or the confessions of the pop star Madonna.
Nick Olson
NAKED!
Now that I have your attention, I’d like to address the epidemic that is now plaguing the youth and adults of modern society. Try not to turn to the comics just yet, for this disease may already be affecting you and your loved ones! I realize it may be difficult, nay, impossible, to retain your attention for the span of five hundred words, but here to captivate you are some shocking statistics! According David R. Godine, Inc., only 32% of the U.S. population has ever been inside a bookstore. According to a 2003 article by Publishers Weekly, the average person spends 2.1 hours a month reading. And according to Jerrold Jenkins of the Jenkins Group, 80% of US families did not buy or read a book last year. And while these statistics are probably very skewed and total lies, they did get you past your one-hundredth word. Congratulations!
When I first read these statistics, I first wondered if it had become the case the reading was no longer “cool”. But after some research, it appears many cool people are readers, including Optimus Prime and Batman. Then I considered whether every work of literature ever written was boring and with
out merit. This didn’t seem to be the case either, considering the works of Eric Carle, so I concluded that the epidemic involved the decline of the modern attention span.WARNING: The following paragraph is excessively boring. Side effects to reading it may include dizziness, nausea, loss of concentration, vomiting, depression, nihilism, and/or death. If you find yourself experiencing any of these symptoms while reading, either stop immediately or imagine Matthew McConaughey reading the passage aloud to you enticingly.
Credible or not, these statistics suggest that reading and the modern attention span have diminished greatly since the 19th century. Not too long ago, Alexandre Dumas, Victor Hugo, or Fyodor Dostoyevsky could captivate a reader for a thousand pages. But the 19th century novel devolved into the 20th century novella. From there came the rise of the graphic novel and the modern magazine. The movie industry reduced the attention span down to two hours, and nowadays, if you read a three-page Time magazine article on an airplane you are an erudite intellectual. In this, the Youtube age of ADD, the modern attention span has limited literature and other media to an aggregate of explosions, sex, torture, and, worst of all, Tom Cruise. Consequently, modern literature, cinema, and other forms of the media have been reduced to the basest of subject matters. But perhaps there is hope. You, the reader, have endured 500 words of excruciating boredom. From there perhaps, you can grow, and one day, restore the literary media to a status from which it can discuss more noble themes that do not involve Garfield the cat or the confessions of the pop star Madonna.
No comments:
Post a Comment